39 things you probably didn't need to know about me...

1. Why did you sign up for a blog?
Vanity. I thought I had something to say (how wrong I was!)

2. What does your blog name mean?
It's perverse, I know, but I like the feeling of exhaustion - the sense of elation you get just before you collapse (for a teetotaler it's one of the few times you feel drunk). The blog was intended, originally, to reflect that feeling of imminent collapse - writing about limit experiences, about music, books etc that go as far as they can - but it quickly became something else. Basically, I was exhausted as soon as I began.

3. What do you do online when you're not blogging?
I spend a lot of time on Youtube. It's like hunting through an old attic, opening boxes, having no idea what you'll find, often being pleasantly surprised, often disappointed. Also, I use it to further my education. There are some really great lectures and interviews on there. I can watch Noam Chomsky and Christopher Hitchens for hours. There's really no excuse for stupidity.

4. How about when you're not on the computer in your spare time?
I read mostly. Or watch DVDs (usually box sets). I can't watch TV any more.

5. What do you wish people who read your blog knew about you?
I'm happy maintaining a certain distance from others - I think it's best for all concerned!

6. What is your favourite community in the blogosphere?
I like anything with integrity - blogs where the enthusiasm or anger is genuine.

7. What is your philosophy on your blog layout?
Quietism?

8. Tell me about the picture you use to represent you on your blog.
Slow, heavy, covered in dust - a metaphor for my brain.

9. Do you have any unique interests that you have never shared before?
I make vegan cookies. I also grow a lot of my own vegetables.

10. Do you think your blog has fans?
Highly doubtful.

11. What's your current obsession? What about it captures your imagination?
J. M. Coetzee. I only discovered him recently. In my usual obsessive-compulsive way, I bought all his books and read them back-to-back. Possibly the most important body of writing by any living author.

12. What are you glad you did but haven't really had a chance to boast about?
I used to renovate houses. I built an extension on my house that I am ridiculously proud of. It's possibly the only thing I've made that will outlast me.

13. What don't you talk about here, either because it's too personal or because you don't have the energy?
I can't say. It's too personal and I don't have the energy.

14. Have you ever lost a blogging friendship and regretted it?
Never having had one, I have never lost one.

15. Have you ever lost a blogging friendship and thought "Was that overdue!"?
Ditto.

16. If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?
Er...

17. If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?
J. M. Coetzee, for the reasons mentioned above.

18. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you going?
I hate to fly, so I would have to trade the ticket for a boat ride. I would probably choose the Democratic Republic of Congo. Slightly weird choice, I realise, but I've been reading a lot about it recently. It's one of the most ravaged places on earth (thanks to the West). I would like to meet some of the people, sit down and talk, find out what it means to live there.

19. What do you think about most?
Writing. Relationships. Writing about relationships.

20. You have the opportunity to spend a romantic night with the music celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?
Pass.

21. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
Any time I was mean or petty. Oh, and every exam I had to sit.

22. What's your strangest talent?
I'm a qualified barista. I make a pretty decent cup of coffee.

23. What would be a question you'd be afraid to tell the truth on?
Anything where the answer would be hurtful. I'm a big coward when it comes to wounding people's feelings.

24. Ever had a poem or song written about you?
Only self-indulgent gibberish written by myself.

25. Do you have any strange phobias?
Flying, as I already mentioned. Basically any situation where I'm trapped and reliant on someone else to let me out.

26. What's your religion?
I like many aspects of Zen and Taoism, but religion in general depresses me. The human race needs to emerge from its infancy.

27. What is your current desktop picture?
A grainy black-and-white photograph of Jakob Wassermann. I like it because he seems to be dissolving into the background. He was an extraordinary writer, now almost completely forgotten. In a way, the photo captures that.

28. When you are outside, what are you most likely doing?
Walking my dog, listening to my ipod, avoiding humans.

29. What's the last song you listened to?
'The End of Faith' by Pernice Brothers. It's from an album I haven't really listened to. The first time I played it I was unimpressed and since then I've neglected it. But that song came on my ipod and I was stunned. Simplicity is always best.

30. Simple but extremely complex. Favourite band?
Songs: Ohia. Really on the strength of two albums, 'The Lioness' and 'Didn't It Rain'. Jason Molina, one day - probably long after he is gone - will be acknowledged for the genius he is. The fact that he has been reduced to asking fans for help to pay his medical bills says it all. The world doesn't deserve him.

31. What was the last lie you told?
I probably lied in an earlier answer. Who knows?

32. Do you believe in karma?
As Frank Zappa says, 'The meek shall inherit nothing.' Anything else is a lie.

33. What is a saying you say a lot?
Sorry.

34. What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?
Doubt.

35. Who is your celebrity crush?
Marion Cotillard. What can I say? French women make me weak at the knees. It's the accent.

36. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word: heart?
Attack.

37. How do you vent your anger?
Lots of swearing.

38. Do you have a collection of anything?
Only books. I daren't start collecting anything else - I'm far too obsessive.

39. What is your favourite word?
Flabbergasted - because I can't imagine the etymology, and I can't imagine the first time it was used. Also, it sums up my state of mind most of the time.

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Thanks to Camp Fustian for this excuse to expose myself in public.